Is anxiety the first thing that hits you when you wake up in the morning? It was for me. Even more disturbing was knowing that this level of worry and stress wasn’t sustainable. My overall health and well-being were being compromised, and it became scary.
Early on, my “Care Plan” for my mother was driven by uncertainty and anxiety. I tried to control what was uncontrollable. I relied on the wrong perspective and short-term fixes rather than focusing on my responses that lead to long-term growth.
Like all caregivers, I had no plan, no guidance, and I was stuck.
I wasn’t living my life or purpose, but I also didn’t feel I had that right anymore.
Here’s the thing. How you think and feel about what you do with your time either inspires or erodes your character and values.
Caregiving, in many respects, is a finite career. It goes much deeper than a “job” because of what it can make of you in the process. Jobs come and go, but “careers” are a journey. It deserves to be created by you, for you.
Mainstream support often focuses on the needs of your loved one rather than your own.
The truth is, society does not give you the skillset to effectively manage the disappointments and unpredictability we caregivers experience on an hourly basis. It doesn’t offer better ideas to replace the old ones that keep you stuck. And they don’t give you the tools to respond differently so that you have confidence and feel a sense of satisfaction at the end of the day.
Mainstream support often focuses on the needs of your loved one rather than your own. It tends to address how to care for THEM and provide guidance on how to handle THEIR behaviors. Friends frequently check in on how THEY are doing, yet the caregiver often feels overlooked and forgotten. This leads to feelings of disconnection and isolation.
I remember leaving a support group meeting and starting to cry as I walked back to my car. I may have related to the other caregivers, but I still left feeling stuck, lost, and alone, with no idea how to move forward with a sense of purpose and accomplishment. It appeared that relief and hope were not attainable as a caregiver.
This is why I created the SHIFT Caregiving Network: to ensure that caregivers like you are NOT forgotten and are given the right skills to have control over your life without further sacrificing your mental and physical health.
If you are feeling hopeless, burned out, and hanging on by a thread, work with me and let the skills and insights SHIFT your perspective, shift your reactions and behaviors, and give you the right support so that your days are filled with confidence, self-reliance, and joy.